I am already whole

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During the Craft, the most impactful thing I came away with was the ability to step back from myself in times of hurt and question my motivations. I learned to recognize that I am already whole.

Instead of approaching life with a sense of scarcity and fear, instead of wondering how can I take what I need from the world, I learned to question, “how can I add?”

When I approach life from a place of security and wholeness, bumps in the roads seem less scary, and I begin to witness myself as a resilient, flexible person rather than a victim. If things don’t go my way, instead of being hurt and resentful, I find myself increasingly able to step back and examine objectively why I’m feeling a certain way.

Why am I sad or hurt? What is this feeling actually a symptom of? How is this feeling serving me and is it helping me reach my goals or is it holding me back?

Since I’ve incorporated the idea of moving from a place of completeness rather than lack,

I am more compassionate with myself and others.

I recognize now that it’s really difficult to empathize with others and find mutually compatible solutions in life if I spend all my emotional energy on how I have been wronged.

This doesn’t mean I don’t get upset, or don’t feel bad if the things I want don’t happen - but I am able to find peace along the journey rather than stressing about the destination. I take confrontations less personally and I find that it’s more natural for me to want to understand others’ feelings more deeply, without placing blame.

I forgive far more easily. I have agency over where I am in my life and what hurdles come along with those choices.

The Craft teachings have shown me that we are all already complete, we just need to uncover that wholeness by working through baggage that is holding us back. The nondual shaiva tantra concepts we studied helped me work through my impatience, and helped me recognize that we’re all just trying to do our best with our time here.

Lauryl Zenobi is a 2018 Craft Graduate. You can practice with Lauryl with the Craft Collective at Kula Movement every first Sunday.